And while I love that content, I realize that that's not what made G4 special, and why I still miss it. G4 had two things going for it that no other outlet then or now does. The first was pure nerd-focused comedy sketches, and comedy in general. You guys did for gamers and nerds, what the likes of David Letterman, Conan O'Brien and Craig Ferguson did for general late-night comedy. You all had no budget, figured no one was watching, and couldn't believe someone was letting you put something on TV. I'm sure each and every day you all assumed, and possibly expected, the whole thing would shut down at any moment. And to be honest, you weren't wrong. So, you guys just threw together whatever the hell you could/could get away with, ratings and focus groups (for a time) be damned, and you created nerd comedy that made YOU guys personally laugh, and hoped maybe someone out there loved it too. And we did. It was all crude, shoddy, irreverent, unprofessional, absurd, nonsensical, and often just plain stupid.
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And you know what else? It was HILARIOUS AND BRILLIANT! But there was also one other thing G4 had that no one else has ever matched. A true all-inclusive gaming/nerd community. I think most of you agree with me. I'll always remember what Kevin Pereira said on his last "Attack of the Show". That the thing he was most proud of was the community the show had created among its viewers, especially online. There are tons streamers and streaming channels now, tons of outlets like Kinda Funny and IGN, and places that focus exclusively on comics or exclusively on games or exclusively on movies and they're all popular. But the audience is fractured. Some people watch this, some people watch that. But when it was on the air, ALL of us watched G4. E3 or Comic-Con? There was no other place anyone whose a nerd would rather be, then turned into G4TV. And when Steve Jobs died, I didn't wanna listen to cable news pundits. I wanted to hear from people who really cared about Jobs' impact on tech so I kept G4 on while they let AOTS run for an extra hour just so Kevin Pereira and the G4 staff could talk about what Jobs meant to them.
My ideal evening consists of someone on tv telling me whose in the running to direct the next Avengers movie, or when Ken Levine's next game is coming out, with a fake commercial for a Gears of War-themed entrails cereal mixed in, someone telling me just how awful the latest half-assed Ubisoft game is, and maybe a completely stupid and random stunt/comedy bit added for good measure (like having three alpacas in a tv studio for no good reason). There's truly been a void in our lives since you guys went off the air. In the years since the shut down, other people have tried doing content similar to G4, but it's just not the same. Most of the G4 talent I loved watching kinda went radio silent for most of the past decade. Pereira of course made a good attempt to bring back a version of Attack of the Show on Twitch which fizzled out. But other than that, beyond the occasional tweet, it was like all our friends were gone for good. There's a ton of people online now that make video reviews of video games, or have a talk show discussing video games and general nerd news.
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I realized it wasn't worth it to me anymore and that I deserve to feel safe enough to be purely vulnerable around the people in my life that I am choosing to be around. No one is perfect, but this type of abuse is no longer tolerated. He never made an actual apology, and in fact, made other digs at me after this. We are no longer friends. Bye, bitch. I cut out many friendships and family relationships this past year. I'd rather be alone than deal with anyone's busted ego. I have a blast alone, in fact! Full fucking stop. Settling for less. In the beginning of my relationship with my husband, I was so fearful of losing him, I went above and beyond in the beginning and didn't ask for anything in return, even sexually. He got used to it and didn't make the effort necessary. I took on all the emotional burdens, the housework, the pets, the childrearing, lost myself in it and gained 50lbs being miserable and finding solace in binge eating. I told him finally that I want it 50/50 or I can't do it.
LMAO. I let my friends know that with everything I've got going on (raising a teenager transitioning to college) I can't plan anything anymore for a couple of years. Those bitches stepped the fuck up!! It's so fucking fun being invited to cool shit I don't have to deal with! Awkward silence? Not it! Someone is uncomfortable because they themselves said something awkward? Must be hard. Taking a load off is the best thing I ever did for myself. Going above and beyond when I just had to be good enough. This is huge. At every job I HAD to be the darling of the office, the goodie two shoes, the perfect assistant. I realized all the other secretaries phoned it in and didn't even care but still got their paycheck. I would overgift, over prepare, and I have skills so it was always done so well. Now I just go above and beyond when I want to, like singing or decorating, things for ME. There are many more ways, but these all came to mind first. Can you see why a narcissist would love the old me? I would work so hard to make them happy.
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